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him on this horrid night is “Deeds to be hid which were not hid” (27). Secrets, for the embattled
addict, are commonplace facts of life. Deepening the effects of those numerous and protected
truths is a simple fact: a great many are already aware of them. In his heart, the addicted person
knows he scrambles and toils for nothing. What he seeks with exhaustive effort to conceal has
already become accepted fact to people who matter. He has isolated himself with his unnecessary
lies: “But of the things which really bother and burn us, we say nothing. Certain distressing or
humiliating memories, we tell ourselves, ought not be shared with anyone. These will remain our
secret.” Addicts adhere to this code although “our friends probably know…anyhow” (Twelve 55-
56).
Rounding out this portion of his work, Coleridge leaves readers with the notions of fear
and shame. In fact, they are so important to him that he dedicates two separate lines to them:
“And shame and terror over all!” (26)
“Life-stifling fear, soul-stifling shame.” (32)
That these two ideals are so important is no surprise to those who have found relief from
addiction. Alcoholics Anonymous has this to say on fear:
This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and
corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion
trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t
deserve…Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause
more trouble (Alcoholics 67-68).
Just as well-documented are remorse “how much they suffered of irritability, anxiety, remorse,
and depression;” (Twelve 56) and guilt “…victimized by remorse and guilt when he thinks of
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