Page 107 - Middle Georgia State University - Knighted 2019

trying something. My mind begins to process the information Dr. BB just presented with her ally
the ultrasound machine pointing out my open cervix (she said incompetent, my cervix is
incompetent), my hanging placenta, and my daughters’ feet doing the baby two-step. In a nexus
of two centimeters.

I'm not looking at the ultrasound screen anymore, I don't even know when it was turned
off. My gaze drifts to the window, the sky has changed since my arrival mid-morning. Dusk has
set in signaling time kept moving even though I was frozen in my bed.

I didn’t notice when Jonathan and Dr. BB along with a technician she’s talking to came
back into the room. Dr. BB is talking to us about what the next step in my care would be since
her last-ditch tilt idea wasn’t working. She says, “We’ve made arrangements to transfer you off
base to the Addenbrooke Hospital in Cambridge where they have the Rosie Hospital….” All I
hear is, they can’t treat me here, they don’t have a neonatal intensive care unit blah, blah, blah.
The rest is fuzzy. I remember riding in the ambulance but the memory is loose. The arrival at the
Rosie Maternity Hospital was even less memorable. To me, it was just another hospital and
another hospital room where I would lay in a tilted position and wait.

The following morning, I woke up and noticed the window in my room reflected a stark
change in the weather from the day before. Bright natural light poured into the room reflecting a
fresh light snowfall overnight. The natural light was more like a spotlight only strong enough
light a small area or the room, the rest cloaked in a permanent shadow. Jonathan spent most of
the day with me, but by the late afternoon, he left to pick up Joshua from a co-worker’s house.
Before he left, he asked me, “What do you want me to bring back to eat tomorrow?” I said,
“spaghetti please.” I would later regret asking for spaghetti. On Sunday, November 23, 2008,
Jonathan and I spent the day watching Kung Fu Panda and Wall-E and eating spaghetti. Visiting

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